


lord knows it would be the first time

by saezutte



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Aftercare, Bondage, Cannibalism, D/s overtones, M/M, Vore, Whipping, consent is not vocalized but present, kagune fucking, non-negotiated BDSM, tsukiyama doesn't know what he wants until kaneki tells him what he wants
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-17 02:27:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2293571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saezutte/pseuds/saezutte
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kaneki ties Tsukiyama up during a sparring match and things get way out of hand. Fortunately, Kaneki has several extra tentacles to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	lord knows it would be the first time

**Author's Note:**

> I started writing this in response to my own kinkmeme prompt for Kaneki fucking Tsukiyama with his kagune ages ago, but then the prompt was filled much better than I could have dreamed (by NanakiBH's Supplication ;_; please read it). I had to sit back for a while: how much fic with Tsukiyama getting fucked by tentacles does the world need? The answer, of course, was "infinite" (especially now with the manga ending D:)
> 
> Title from The Smiths' "Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want" and that really says it all. Thanks to Hillary for reading it over!

"You did say I needed to work on my fine motor skills."  

Kaneki tightened the kagune tentacle he had wrapped around Tsukiyama's right wrist. His koukaku remained but was pointed harmlessly up. The left wrist was similarly restrained and Tsukiyama was hanging from them several inches off the ground. 

"This was not quite what I envisioned." Tsukiyama’s expression showed no distress beyond inconvenience; Kaneki was a little put out that he wasn’t ruffled by the bindings. 

"This seems like pretty good practice to me." Kaneki reached a third tentacle up to lightly brush the hair on Tsukiyama’s forehead. He could feel a ghost of breath from Tsukiyama’s mouth against the tip, which he thought was heavier and deeper than it would have been if Tsukiyama were really as calm as he looked. 

Kaneki moved the tentacle to curl around Tsukiyama's neck, not choking him but tight enough to be threatening. He was surprised to find that his kagune was remarkably sensitive, though in retrospect it should have been obvious for such an important organ. He’d just never had the time and peace of mind to enjoy it before. Concentrating, he could feel the erratic beat of Tsukiyama's pulse and he could almost taste the blood and the fear pumping underneath Tsukiyama's skin. Kaneki’s own heartbeat was racing too, his ghoul instincts alive at having his prey spread out before him. 

Tsukiyama sounded less sure of himself the next time he spoke. "Kaneki-kun, this is quite enough. Shouldn't we get back to sparring?” 

"We never stopped sparring; you're just currently losing." He tried to keep his tone polite, teasing, but there was a part of him that was enjoying it —- one of the benefits of his time with Yamori, he’d decided, was that he didn’t have to ignore that part anymore. Still, it wouldn’t do to give away more of his feelings than was necessary; Tsukiyama knew him too well already. 

But he also knew Tsukiyama too well now. He knew Tsukiyama’s hunger for him had never left, but since Aogiri, he’d also noticed that hunger had changed somehow. He thought now that Tsukiyama didn’t really want to kill and eat him, though he would given half a chance. What Tsukiyama wanted now, Kaneki thought, was to always be chasing after prey he could never capture; in a way, the current situation — tied up in kagune teased by a Kaneki he could never touch — was the best thing Kaneki could give him. 

Realizing now he’d have to fight to get free, Tsukiyama grimaced and began to struggle. Kaneki watched as he writhed. He tried to keep the bindings loose enough that he still could struggle a bit, but as Tsukiyama's efforts increased, he tightened them more and more until all movement was restrained. 

Then Tsukiyama began to kick and Kaneki was forced -- oh, what a hardship! -- to wrap a fourth tentacle around his ankles. 

It was the best Tsukiyama had ever looked, in his opinion. 

"This isn't fair," Tsukiyama whined breathlessly and that looked even better.

"I'm simply using all the tools at my disposal in order to get stronger." Kaneki noticed Tsukiyama starting to readjust his kagune -- koukaku were less flexible but could still be changed during fights, of course. He moved the tentacle around Tsukiyama's neck towards the kakuhou on his shoulder blade. "Right now, I'm using you as a tool to train my kagune's dexterity." 

Tsukiyama moaned. That was unexpected; was it his words or his movement? He slid the tentacle down Tsukiyama's kagune to the base and dipped the tip into the kakuhou opening around the kagune. Kaneki had never had sex, but it felt like what he imagined (based on novels) slipping a finger into a vagina would feel like, moist and warm and oh so tight. He wondered if— he bent the tip just a little inside the kakuhou. 

“Ahh!” Tsukiyama’s kagune vanished in a burst of Rc cells, splattering across his black t-shirt and slacks (which probably cost a fortune despite their plainness). Kaneki withdrew the tentacle from the kakuhou — to be honest, he was somewhat concerned about damaging it — and stroked Tsukiyama’s back. 

“There, there, Tsukiyama-san, I don’t think we need that ‘sword’ right now, do we?” 

Tsukiyama looked bemused, but not entirely innocent of Kaneki’s implication. “Is there another sword you need? ” 

Kaneki caught his eye and held it. Tsukiyama was above him still, dangling, but Kaneki was flush with power over him. “Maybe this one?” He slid the tentacle to the front of Tsukiyama’s pants where he could feel, oh yes he could feel, his erection (full of blood, the kagune seemed to sing out at him in hunger).

“Why, Kaneki-kun. You only have to say the word and all my swords will be at your disposal.” The reply was dripping with Tsukiyama’s usual gross arrogance, returned now that he thought he understood the situation he was in. Kaneki wasn’t going to let that last for long. He began to fumble with the belt holding up Tsukiyama’s slacks, but the tentacle wasn’t exactly designed for undressing so much as it was destroying. 

“Why don’t you let me down and I’ll get that for you?” 

Kaneki glared. “I’m practicing using my kagune for delicate tasks.” 

“Of course that’s what we’re doing, _mon petit_.” Tsukiyama smirked, lips curling over the French. He made a show of jerking his wrists in the tentacles as though to add _yes that’s all this is_. 

Kaneki, annoyed, yanked the belt out of the buckle. 

“Try not to destroy my clothing,” Tsukiyama said. 

Kaneki narrowed his eyes. Really, how was Kaneki supposed to react? Saying that was a mistake if he really didn’t want his clothing destroyed. He concentrated on the kagune tentacle, hardening it, thinning it, sharpening it until he thought it was enough and then he _sliced._ Tsukiyama whimpered as the tentacle cut straight through the fabric and into his skin, leaving a bright red slash of blood on his stomach leading down to his groin. 

Kaneki pushed Tsukiyama’s ruined pants and underwear — silky dark boxer-briefs, of course, eye-roll — down and poised the tentacle just above his hard cock. Tsukiyama shuddered. 

“Do you want to be let down now?" 

Tsukiyama stared. His eyes darted from Kaneki’s face to his erection as though trying to figure out which answer was most likely to get him free _and_ get him off. Kaneki just smiled up at him. Finally, he hazarded a guess. “Yes?” 

Kaneki laughed. “Do you really?” Kaneki jerked on the tentacles around his wrists quickly and felt a pop — one of his shoulders dislocating, maybe? Tsukiyama groaned but Kaneki couldn’t even guess if it was from pain or pleasure. “I asked you a question.” 

Tsukiyama’s lips parted. For a moment, he simply breathed, looking down at Kaneki. Then he resolved himself. “…No.” 

“No what?” 

“No, I… don’t want to be let down.” 

Kaneki smiled. “Very good. It’s always good to be honest.” Then he dropped him. 

Tsukiyama collapsed on the concrete floor. His eyes shone with betrayal as he looked up at Kaneki. “But I said—“ 

“You can’t always get what you want, Tsukiyama-san, even when you confess it honestly.” Kaneki swirled the kagune tentacles around lazily above Tsukiyama’s pathetic form just in case he decided to lunge. “But I suppose you deserve a reward. Undress.”  

Kaneki had never seen someone scramble to get their shirt undone so fast. After a moment, Tsukiyama stood before him naked and expectant. 

Kaneki took a deep breath — he’d seen other boys naked, of course, in the locker room for gym class and the few times he’d been to a public bath. He always tried to carefully avert his eyes. But this was different. Tsukiyama was naked for him and Kaneki had to look; it would be rude to order someone to undress and then not look at them, of course, not that Kaneki had ever ordered someone to undress before. And Tsukiyama looked good. He was toned and lean and tall (or taller than Kaneki at least) and Kaneki, even knowing how ugly he was underneath, still thought he looked like a model. 

More importantly, Tsukiyama was covered in bruises and cuts from their earlier sparring; they were starting to heal, of course, but Kaneki was shaken for a moment by the realization that he’d made those marks. They were proof that he was stronger than Tsukiyama, who was looking down with a worried expression and a faint blush. Which were also proof that Kaneki was stronger and he knew it. Kaneki could no longer deny it — he was turned on and he ached to touch him. 

But touching him was still too risky; you give Tsukiyama an inch of skin and he’d take a mile (and probably lightly sauté it with a side of eyeballs.) Kaneki composed himself and tried to decide how best to proceed. How far could he push Tsukiyama before his loyal sword couldn’t help but snap? “Get on your knees.” 

Tsukiyama hesitated for a beat too long. Kaneki drew back one of the kagune tentacles and whipped it quickly. It struck the back of his thighs with a smack and his knees buckled. He cried aloud and fell to his knees, holding himself up on his hands. That was better. 

“T-that was not necessary, Kaneki-kun. I was going to kneel, of course.” Tsukiyama almost choked on the words.  

“I decide what’s necessary; you don’t have the judgment for it. You’re always doing unnecessary things.” Kaneki stroked his shoulder blade with a tentacle lightly, feeling the sweat on the skin and the muscle beneath it. Tsukiyama was shaking and his breathing was rough but Kaneki thought he could handle it. Taking the thinnest kagune limb, he began to whip his shoulders lightly, alternating sides and increasing the force gradually. Every sting on the end of the tentacle felt like a triumph to Kaneki; it was hurting him too, to be honest, though not as much as it must be hurting Tsukiyama, but the pain was welcome counterbalance to his arousal. 

He wasn’t sure, for a minute, if Tsukiyama was enjoying it or not (and he didn’t care, really), but soon Tsukiyama was moaning quietly with each stroke. Kaneki wrapped a tentacle around his neck to lift his chin and saw tears starting to leak from his eyes. He stopped whipping and looked at his handiwork: thin welts of red down Tsukiyama’s back, some sharp thin cuts with blooding welling up on his pale aristocratic skin. Beautiful. 

“Are you all right, Tsukiyama-san?” 

Tsukiyama swallowed. “Yes.” 

“Would you like more of this?” 

He hesitated. “I would like more of whatever you want to give me.” 

Kaneki stared down at him; did he think this was a game? “Aren’t you humiliated, saying things like that?” 

Tsukiyama shivered but set his lips in a proud line. “I don’t find it humiliating to serve you as best I can.” 

He couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re so odd, but I guess I shouldn’t talk. Do you think this is the best you can serve me?” Kaneki took a step closer and began to undo his shorts.

“I don’t know.” Tsukiyama’s eyes darted to Kaneki’s hands and then widened as Kaneki pulled out his erection. 

Kaneki pulled Tsukiyama’s head up back by the hair and smacked his cock against his cheek. “If you bite, I’ll kill you.” 

“Yes. I mean, I won’t.” Tsukiyama nodded quickly, pulling against Kaneki’s hand. He was so eager for a taste, Kaneki could smell the desperation. 

“Do you know how I’ll kill you?” Kaneki moved the tentacle that was still the most moist with secretions from his kakuhou into position behind Tsukiyama’s ass. 

“No? What? Does it matter?” Tsukiyama asked, bewildered anew by Kaneki’s thought patterns. 

“It does,” Kaneki said, and slipped the wet tentacle into Tsukiyama’s asshole. Tsukiyama cried out — almost definitely in pain, not pleasure, Kaneki thought, though who knew if this pervert really felt them differently — and when his mouth was open, Kaneki thrust his cock in too, trusting that Tsukiyama’s survival instinct would stop him from biting down (especially now that Kaneki had leverage in the form of the imminent kagune impaling if Tsukiyama acted up). 

Kaneki had trusted well: even in his shock, Tsukiyama didn’t bite down. Instead he moaned around Kaneki’s cock and began to circle his tongue starting from the tip down the shaft. His eyes were rolled back from ecstasy and he kept making these sounds, guttural and disgusting, slurping and sucking. Kaneki didn’t think it was possible for someone to make so much noise with something in his mouth like that. It was lewd beyond all imagining and Kaneki began to thrust his cock into the warm wet heat of Tsukiyama’s mouth trying to get the noises to stop, but somehow they kept coming. 

The tentacle in Tsukiyama’s ass seemed to have more room to move now so Kaneki began to draw it out and push it back in. It was tight, but it felt so good around his kagune: all that meat, all that muscle, ready to be torn apart, his ghoul senses were telling him, but Kaneki held back that part of himself (at least until it proved necessary). Tsukiyama pushed his hips back, as lewd as those sounds were, trying to take in more of the kagune, so Kaneki figured it must feel good for him too. 

He wasn’t sure if he was coordinated enough to pull it off, but he began to fuck Tsukiyama’s face and his ass in a steady rhythm so that Tsukiyama would be full from both ends at the same time. The sensation was overwhelming and he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. It was hard to tell at this angle, but he thought Tsukiyama also hadn’t come yet. He reached one tentacle around to check and, yes, his hard erection remained, the tip seeping precome. He wrapped the tentacle around him and began to stroke. 

Tsukiyama shouted and Kaneki’s cock slipped out. “Ah! Kaneki-kun! It’s too _magnifique_.” 

Kaneki wrenched his head back by the hair again. “Glad you’re enjoying it, but can you please focus on me?” 

Tsukiyama looked up at him with dark kakugan and lips half closed. “I am always focused on you, Kaneki-kun.” 

Kaneki felt a hot heat in his cheeks, like he was embarrassed. But after everything that had happened, how could he be getting embarrassed now, by another of Tsukiyama’s dumb lines? “I’m sure that’s true, Tsukiyama-san, but right now I don’t need you running your mouth about it.” 

Tsukiyama nodded obligingly and sucked Kaneki’s cock back into his mouth. Kaneki began his carefully coordinated rhythm again, timing his strokes on Tsukiyama’s cock to match his thrusts. Kaneki felt free to run his hand through Tsukiyama’s hair now that he was focusing his mouth where it should be. Kaneki realized this was the only way he’d touched Tsukiyama with his own hands and let his hand trail slowly through the soft, dark strands. Tsukiyama tilted his head into it, like a dog being petted, and Kaneki could see the outline of his cock poking into Tsukiyama’s cheek. It was almost charming. 

He could tell Tsukiyama was close to coming but not quite there. He lazily stroked a third tentacle across the welts on Tsukiyama's back and then Tsukiyama was there, was coming, spreading his seed all over the tentacle that was stroking him. With Tsukiyama’s orgasm, the muscles around the fucking tentacle constricted and Kaneki could feel that too. It wasn’t like his kagune had reached orgasm, but it was similar; with the tightness and the constriction, Kaneki was overwhelmed by the sensation and it went straight to his cock. He came with a shout, pumping semen down Tsukiyama’s throat. He hoped it was too far back for him to enjoy the taste too much. 

No such luck. “Exquisite! Exquisite! Kaneki-kun!” He was licking one corner of his mouth where some semen had dripped out. 

Kaneki pulled back quickly and withdrew as Tsukiyama collapsed on the ground in an exhausted heap. 

With his cock spent and his kagune retracted, a wave of horror hit Kaneki at what he’d done. Tsukiyama lay on the floor, propped up half-heartedly on one arm and breathing heavily. 

He didn’t _like_ Tsukiyama, exactly, but he’d taken him under his protection when he accepted his help and now he’d betrayed that trust beyond anything because why? Because he’d been bored, lonely, because he’d wanted to cause someone pain? Even if they wanted it, that didn’t make it right. 

There was a small cot pushed up against the wall with the other assorted furniture that had been in the basement when they’d decided to make it into a training room. Kaneki lifted Tsukiyama from the ground and, when he seemed too wobbly to stand, let him lean against him, the limp arm around his shoulders. 

“Hey, come on. Let’s go over here.” Kaneki walked to the cot and Tsukiyama limped beside him. Kaneki lay down and Tsukiyama crawled up too, draping himself over Kaneki with his head on his chest. Kaneki didn’t have the heart to move him to a less affectionate position. 

“Are you okay? Are you healing?” There were still red welts all down his back. Kaneki stroked a hand over them; they felt warm to the touch and his hand came back with traces of blood. 

“Yes, I’m fine,” Tsukiyama hummed against Kaneki’s collar bone, but he didn’t look fine, he looked like he’d just been beaten and fucked brutally by Kaneki’s own tentacle monster. He sounded hazy and drugged. 

He slipped his thumb into Tsukiyama’s mouth. His tongue responded almost immediately, curling around it to taste it. But that wasn’t what Kaneki wanted. “Bite,” he commanded.  

Tsukiyama’s eyes widened. “May I really?” he said, sucking lightly on the thumb now and Kaneki’s cock was almost starting to respond. Kaneki was well and truly disgusted with himself: Tsukiyama confirming he had permission was turning him on.

“It’s fine. I’ll grow another,” he said, desperate to do one small thing to make sure Tsukiyama would be all right. 

Tsukiyama made a high-pitched keening sound around his thumb and looked up at him. He met his eyes and didn’t look away as he positioned his teeth. His tongue circled the thumb once more. 

“Just get on it with it,” Kaneki said, trying to keep the irritation out of his voice, and then Tsukiyama bit his thumb clear through. The pain was sharp and awful, but familiar, of course, like an old friend. But watching Tsukiyama suck and chew the lost digit was much better than watching it fall into Yamori’s bucket. In fact, Tsukiyama’s moaning as he sucked on the detached thumb was the opposite of Yamori’s carelessness with his fingertips, like every piece of Kaneki’s flesh was precious. 

“Kaneki-kun, you’re so delicious. More than I ever dreamed.” Tsukiyama still sounded breathless and dazed, but much more like his usual self. “You should eat too.” He pressed his hand to Kaneki’s mouth and Kaneki realized what he was after. 

“That would defeat the purpose of you eating, if you had to heal more.” Kaneki felt a sour twist in his stomach at the phrasing, like it wasn’t his own fault Tsukiyama needed to heal. 

“My, my. So self-sacrificing. Just a little won’t hurt.” 

When Kaneki opened his mouth to protest, Tsukiyama slipped the tip of his pinkie finger in, down to the first joint. Kaneki couldn’t help but tighten his lips around it and taste it with a light touch of his tongue. It tasted good, which he hadn’t expected, and Tsukiyama was looking at him eager and hungry for him to take a bite. 

So he did. It was refreshing, even though it was barely a smidgen, and more importantly, Tsukiyama let out a satisfied sigh that made Kaneki feel better. His hand stroked the corner of Kaneki’s mouth as he swallowed.

Then he shivered and Kaneki reached for the blanket folded at the head of the cot, settling it around them. Tsukiyama pressed his body even closer, face nuzzling in the crook of Kaneki’s neck. He must really be the worst type of pervert, to enjoy this so leisurely, Kaneki thought, and then it hit him: if Tsukiyama was the worst type of pervert, what did that make him? Worse than the worst. He stroked Tsukiyama’s hair with the thumbless hand — already healing but still bleeding — and mumbled, “How can you not hate me?” 

There was silence and then Tsukiyama laughed. “You’re like this now but you’re still so innocent?” 

Kaneki frowned. 

“I’m the only one who wants you like this, Kaneki-kun.” Tsukiyama’s hand gripped his hip. “You can hide this from everyone else, but it’s a part of you. I’m the only one who wants all of you, even this part.” _Especially this part_ was what Kaneki really heard in the desperation under Tsukiyama’s soothing tones. “Even if I hated you, I would still want you.”  

“Oh,” Kaneki breathed out. He knew this was manipulation, knew every word out of Tsukiyama’s mouth was a lie wrapped around a grain of truth, but he couldn’t see the logical break that would reveal the lie. It sounded good, it sounded right; this was why he kept Tsukiyama around, after all, to play the roles too dark for his more innocent companions. Maybe that included (had always included, from the moment Tsukiyama’d asked to follow him) handling the darkest parts of Kaneki himself. 

He let his face fall against the top of Tsukiyama’s head. He could smell his own blood mixed in with Tsukiyama’s scent and had to resist the urge to press a kiss to his hair. 


End file.
